Firstly, it is important to say that Family Constellation ‘theory’ is based on observation, the observations made by Bert Hellinger, the originator of this work, and also during the more than 160 workshops I have given worldwide. Many of the observations may seem foreign to the first time witness to such family dynamics but as observations they become undeniable as you experience truth, loyalty and love unfold before you. 

Each family has its own conscience, which is made up of all the members of the family; we could call this the “greater soul of the family”. So who is included and who is excluded? 

A family consists of parents, children, grandparents, the siblings of parents and even the siblings of grandparents. The underlying principle of this work is that any member of an extended family that is forgotten or ousted from the family will be represented by a family member, mostly a generation or two later, sometimes several generations later.

So who are the forgotten ones? Forgotten members of a family can be aborted children, miscarried children, those that died young or those that have been forced out of the family. For example, when there is the death of an infant, and the child is not mourned, a sibling or even a child from the following generation will represent that child in the family. These representations can take the form of carrying the unacknowledged feelings of the grieving parents or the feelings of the dead child that feels excluded from the family. When a child that has died is not given a proper place within the family, it is neither with the dead, nor with the living, and therefore belongs to no one. The one that represents this child can clearly feel this, a deep sense of not belonging.

Another example of representation can be the former partners of parents. If a first marriage or relationship is not ended with love and the former partner is not respected and the original love not remembered, then a child from the new family can represent the former partner. How is this visible? For example a man is married to a woman and divorces her. He then re-marries and has a daughter. If the first wife is not honoured and remembered in love, the new daughter may show loyalty to her and may even display ‘unaccountable’ anger towards her father. The daughter does not know on a conscious level why she is angry, but on a subconscious level, she carries the feelings of the rejected woman. This is far more common that we generally suppose. This kind of 'representation' is especially true if the first wife died whilst in the first marriage."

In a Family Constellation set up, these hidden truths come to light and such identification with the excluded is clear and visible to all who experience them.

In the same way, if the first pregnancy of a couple is miscarried, or the infant dies at a young age, if not acknowledged fully by the parents, the children who follow can feel that there is something ‘missing’ from their lives. In essence, in each family there is a natural hierarchy so those who think of themselves as being one of three children when in fact are one of four children can suffer the fate of never knowing their place in life. This is so as their inner perception of their position in the hierarchy is erroneous.

These identifications also apply to victims and perpetrators of past events. For example if a great injustice has been done (murder, ill-gotten gain, the Holocaust, African Slavery, Anglo-Boer War etc) and the ‘guilty’ do not own their guilt or are never brought to justice, someone of the next generation will carry that guilt, maybe even become aggressive themselves, or repeat the same pattern. This is also true of the victims of such actions; they too can be represented by future generations.

Dr Rupert Sheldrake talks of the morphogenic field. It is a field of conscious energy that binds all members of a family, race, nation or tribe together. In Family Constellations we tap directly into that field through simple intention. As each representative stands in their place, they are able to feel the emotions, feelings, even the soul of those who they represent. This work is astounding and often leaves one thinking "how does this work?". However, we have come to rely on the truth it reveals and much of the information gleaned from a Family Constellation is verifiable by the clients who experience it.

If you wish to read more about this work, please refer to "The Healing of Individuals, Families and Nations" and "The Language of the Soul" on my Book Page.

www.familyconstellations.net/transgenhealing.htm